Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship by David Givens

Author:David Givens [Givens, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Self-Help, Communication & Social Skills, Family & Relationships, Dating, Social Science, Body Language & Nonverbal Communication
ISBN: 9781429923477
Google: sPMclK9DPfcC
Amazon: B004YENA2I
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Published: 2006-01-10T05:00:00+00:00

Foreplay Cues

The body language of foreplay is remarkably the same around the world: fondling, caressing with fingertips, kissing with the lips, touching with the tongue, and an intimate form of “touch” called love talk. Couples everywhere use soft voice tones to strum the inner ear’s cochlear nerve, which evolved in early vertebrates from the sense of touch. In foreplay, love talk can be as arousing as a touch to the body itself.

A woman may respond more fervently in foreplay to touches and love talk than to a man’s body movements in coitus. She may experience one or more orgasms brought on simply by his caressing hands. However, a man may not spend as much time caressing as she likes. He is genetically programmed to move beyond foreplay as soon as possible. His own physical pleasure, concentrated almost entirely in his copulatory organ, drives him toward coitus as the goal. For better communication in Phase Five, he should await her signals. An enticing tug or inviting shift in position will show when she’s ready. Before her go sign, coitus is premature.

For both sexes, an effective touch zone in foreplay is the chest area, which is supplied by branches of sensitive intercostal nerves. Replete with free nerve endings and sensual receptors called Meissner’s corpuscles and Merkel’s disks, nipples are supersensitive to light touch. The clitoris, penis, forehead, soles of the feet, palms of the hands, and pads of the fingertips all contain dense concentrations of these specialized nerve endings, making them rich targets in foreplay.

As erogenous zones, breasts significantly vary. Some women feel nothing at all sexual when their breasts are touched, while others orgasm when a nipple or its areolar skin is softly stimulated. Many women and many men identify the nipple as their chest’s most erotic area. Studies find that larger breasts feel less nipple or skin sensations than smaller ones (Berman and Berman, 2001). In both genders, a caress to the temple, forehead, or cheeks may cause visible stiffening of the nipples. An erect nipple can show you’ve sent the right cues.

A neglected erogenous zone is the saddle area of your partner’s perineum or “sexual skin,” a hairless area between the genital organs and anus. As primates, our sexual skin is filled with free nerve endings, Meissner’s corpuscles, and Merkel’s disks, making it a source of arousal in many men and some women (Berman and Berman, 2001). Because a woman is more variable in Phase Five, as a man you should watch for “comfort level” cues—such as muscle relaxation, a positive signal, or pulling away, a negative sign—to tell how far to go.

Additional touch zones in foreplay are the outer and inner thighs and the curvilinear buttocks. The word buttock derives from the seven-thousand-year-old Indo-European root, bhau-, which means “to strike.” A touch to the backside stimulates the pudendal nerve, which activates the penis and clitoris directly. In tandem with the pudendal nerve, gluteal and perineal branches of the posterior femoral cutaneous nerve may be strummed in preparation for coitus.

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